“The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed”

The weather is starting to warm up, my other blog layout is pretty much finished, running totally kicked my ass the other day & today is my day off.  What do I plan to do on my day off you ask (or you would if you were reading this & of course you are because my blog is just so incredibly-super-interesting, so who could resist reading it really?)?

First, more coffee.

Second, a nice long shower.

Third, the gym.

Fourth, ok – I didn’t actually get that far yet, I do need to run out & get some milk though (exciting – I know!) …

I am excited to get to the gym though.  I took yesterday off to rest so today I’ll be walking a good 1/2 hour prior to running.  I’m really going to focus on my form because I’ve been doing some reading & I think I’m a major heel striker. It’s a bit controversial – some say it can/may cause injury & some insist that’s absolutely untrue.  Additionally, I’m a sloppy runner so I’ll be concentrating on maintaining not-so sloppy (lol) form as well.  I also plan to start out running a tad slower than I have been so I don’t bonk 1/2 way through.  I had a hard time getting through my last run & I’m almost positive it was due to my running speed.

Oh & the saying that’s the title of this post kept me going during that run so I wanted to share it.  It’s an old Chinese saying (I’m not sure of the author) that I find to be simply amazing.  I found it to be such even prior to running & more so when I was fighting a mental/physical battle running & it rang as completely true.  I hope you like it too.

If anyone has any other quotes they’d like to share – please do!

 

Brrrrrrr!!

After a brief break from the cold weather in South Florida (yes, I used the words SOUTH FLORIDA & cold weather in the same sentence), it has once again reared it’s ugly head. In some areas (slightly north of here) there were actually reports of freezing rain & flurries. This is something I haven’t seen in my 2+ years down here & it’s a first for SoFlo as well. Record breaking low temperatures in fact!

You see folks, in Florida, going outside & being able to see your breath isnot something that occurs very often (ok, not at all), however this morning, low & behold, as I stepped out onto my terrace, I saw my breath. This made me think 2 things:

1. Ok, I’m not being a sissy. It IS flipping cold out! &
2. OMG, it could actually snow (I didn’t look at the weather reports of said snow until after these thoughts, but I’m from CT so I know the tell-tale signs).

This is by far the strangest winter down here. I feel so bad for the northerners that came down for Christmas or just a vacation from the cold, only to find themselves … well, in the cold.

I can’t help but ask …

Mother Nature?

If you’re reading my blog (which I’m totally sure you are, because anyone who’s anyone reads my blog) … Could you please bring back the warm temperatures? Or at least give us one good, true snow so we feel like it was worth it? I mean, what are cold temperatures good for unless they produce some type of frozen precipitation? A little help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Oh, & please don’t let this kill the flowers.

 

I’ve been really bad ..

about posting on here lately.  In fact I’ve been bad about posting on my other blog as well.  I ended up redesigning my other one today & I’m pretty happy with it now.  It wasn’t displaying properly in Chrome or FireFox & that problem is now fixed thanks to my new layout.

So … I copied my other posts that I’d added to said other blog on here (& back-dated them so they’re proper) & I promise to do my best not to neglect my non-existent readers on here & post more frequently for you

Here’s a cute picture of my cat.  Maybe it’ll bring more readers … hehe … she is quite cute … well, super cute & she even sits for her treats.  Yeah, I trained her … I’m good like that.

 

Exercise & the Runner’s High

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten off my lazy butt & truly exercised.  Well, until this past weekend anyway.

I know the stigma associated with making a “New Year’s Resolution” … blah, blah, blah … however I’ve been putting it off & putting it off so I figured it was the perfect time.

Without delay, immediately on New Year’s Day I went in search of the perfect routine to get started.  I used to be a Certified Personal Trainer so I know where my weak areas lie & I know what I need in order to stick with a program.  Taking that into consideration, I went with a Yoga/Weights combination workout & to kick my cardiovascular system into gear, as well as to maintain health, I also added a beginner’s running program.

I also put them both into a spreadsheet so I can monitor my progress & be held accountable for my actions (or lack there of should I miss a day).  This is key (for me anyway).  I need to be able to map out my plans & also be able to watch my progress.  This monitoring for me = motivation.  Granted, I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself … but, it’s still there in black & white (well, & green & blue because I used MS Excel & made it all puuurrrty ).

Anywho, thus far it has been terrific.  I love that I’ve worked Yoga into my routine & that weights are a part of it.  I feel wonderful afterwards & I know I’m doing something good for both my mind & my body.  The other terrific aspect about yoga is the versatility.  I can add & deduct poses & even completely change it around of I want to.  I tend to get bored easily when working out (if I do the same routine for a while) so change is imperative!

I chose the beginner’s running program because quite frankly I’ve really hated running in the past.  Admittedly, I far too often started out too gung-ho & ended up getting shin splints & being out of breath & frustrated.  This time, I’m doing it right.  Also being a beginner’s program it includes a lot of change to help you progress in running skills.  The program also involves walking which bores me but it’s good because it forces me to slow down & gives me a chance to “rest” while also getting exercise.

Since starting my new routine I’ve also been sleeping A LOT better & I’m loving it!

 

My apologies (to you & myself) for being away so long

Well, technically I’ve been here just no blogging but that’s irrelevant.

Read this post from a fellow blogger.  It touched my heart & I’m sure it will touch yours as well:

http://blackberriestoapples.blogspot.com/2009/12/true-meaning-of-christmas.html

*Oh & I’ll be back tomorrow.  Just make sure you read her blog posting (& linger – read her older posts as well).  She’s simply inspirational.

On a side note.  I wrote this a week or so ago & I thought I’d share:


Awakening


Sounds around me humming gently,
Sounds I typically don’t hear.
Life move forward/time passes,
My eyes don’t always see.
The breeze brushes my face,
A soft reminder,
And I’m awake again.


~ Jayequeue (*not to be republished without written permission)

 

I am the garbage can’s bitch

I feed it on a regular basis, to keep it happy, healthy & in its glorious, wondrous, garbage cannishness … ness. I feed it paper, napkins, boxes, cigarette butts, the occasional Q-tip, torn-up mail, toe-clippings … you name it & it just gobbles them all up in complete & utter glee.

Why do I do this (you ask)? Because, I can (no pun intended … well, maybe a little one). Ok, I digress … I do this simply because I sit on the side of the office that contains said container …

I will admit, sometimes it annoys me that I have been givenGarbage Can Bitch Status but then … I remember, that I am feeding said can, giving said can life, happiness, a purpose … &  then … then .. I sit here trying not to laugh out loud at my own attempt to maintain my sanity with insane thoughts.

*Forgive me for not posting very regularly as of late.  Since I have been neglecting my poor blog, & reader(s), I thought maybe you’d enjoy some of my inner ramblings.*

 

Early to bed early to rise … & then some …

Things have been going fairly well as of late with the slight exception of last night.  I wasn’t feeling too well & I knew it was a result of not enough sleep over the past few days.  I decided to go to bed early to catch up on my sleep.  I’d made that decision earlier in the day & come the time I’d mentally set to accomplish this, I was oddly pretty close to wide awake at that point .. or should I say – my mind was  – my body – not so much.  You know the feeling, your body is tired but your mind is going a mile a minute …

Regardless, I proceeded to kiss my boyfriend goodnight, grab my cat & trudge on towards our bed with a steadfast determination to hit the hay at an early hour.  Of course, I knew my mind was racing at that point (which often leads to ISP) so I left our hallway light on in the master suite for “comfort”.  I know, I’m a 34 year old woman but the light makes me feel better damnit - shoosh!

Nonetheless, I must have had about 6 or 7 rolling cycles of SP (or RISP as read in an article today – also referenced on my blog – I’m too lazy to look up the reference but if you scroll down & read the article by Sirley you’ll find it).

All of the cycles were memorable but the one that sticks in my head (& the one I shared with my other half) was the last one.

You see, because my mind was going a mile a minute (which is never good when you’re trying to sleep) & I knew my boyfriend would soon (not sure when, but soon) be coming into the bedroom to go to sleep as well … I was anticipating the possibility of being woken up.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal right?  Well, when you have RISP it is a big deal because it can add to the anxiety involved in the simple procedure of falling asleep.

Ok, I got a bit off track.  Nonetheless, so … the one that sticks in my head went like this:  I “woke up” & sensed that my boyfriend wasn’t in the bed with me because I saw the light was still on, so my natural instinct was to see what time it was.  Now, I have my Blackberry set to turn off at 2am & restart at 7am so I anticipated having to turn it back on to check the time (I was assuming it was after 2-obviously).  So, I “reached” for my blackberry with this in mind only to find that although I was sending the signals to brain to perform this easy/normal-every day task – it wasn’t happening.  I looked down at my arm only to see it not moving.  I thought to myself, “self, it’s ok, you’re just stuck, stare at the light & you’ll wake up”.  I did this to no avail.  I then thought, “ok, move your big toe” – I know – sounds like the “Kill Bill” movies but, darn it – it worked & poof, my toe moved, cracked & I woke up.

It was quite refreshing yet disturbing.  I was upset that I’d been going through RISP episodes for over 2 hours – around 2-1/2 to be exact but at the same time I was happy that I’d come out of a pretty harmless episode of your standard SP with complete ease.  How did I manage that?  I’m not entirely sure but I’ll tell you this.  I refused to even get scared, I simply accepted what was happening & found a solution/a way to make it stop.  That’s it.  Whether or not that will happen from now on remains to be seen & quite frankly I’m a bit doubtful.  There are so many instances where it seems I am in no control whatsoever & at the mercy of “someone” else.  I’d like to be hopeful, but it’s difficult when I compare this instance and the few other good instances to the amount of bad instances I’ve had.  Unfortunately, the few arefew & far between …

I’d also like to point out that my other RISP’s included a number of the different symptoms associated with SP however never all of them at the same time.  To be more specific, & to give another example, I completely “hallucinated” that my boyfriend had opened the door, walked into the bedroom & then into the bathroom at one point.  I then woke up & it had not happened.  I was a little baffled because it seemed so real but at the same time, part of me knew it wasn’t real.  I also heard loud explosions, doors opening, voices etc .. all while I was going “in & out of sleep”.

Anyway, so much for me catching up on my sleep last night but … I will say, as bad as it was – I did at least get to lay down for a few extra hours last night & I woke up refreshed so – I’ll take it any way I can get it

Sleep well!

 

Interesting Dream Last Night

Ok, technically it’s last night but , well, it’s really late so .. it was my last dream so is it really the night before last?  Regardless, I had an (among others) very vivid dream.  It was really strange, as if I wasn’t really the person in “said dream” but as if I was the actor in what appeared to be a taping of a movie (no, not that kind!).

Anyway, I could see through the eyes of the actress & at times felt as if I “were” the actress (insert “Being John Malkovich”) … very, odd.  I could feel what the other actor was feeling (in this case Robert Downey Jr.) & felt a very close connection to him as well.  The dream progressed, taking place in a green room/office environment until the very end when gunshots sprang loose.  Upon this …. my alarm went off & I awoke.

Another instance showing that i am experiencing REM at times when I should be in a different sleep stage.

None-the-less, an enjoyable & interresting dream experience

Time for bed now – (& then some)

Sleep well all
~ Jayequeue

 

Little Bitch

What I’ve Been Up To:

I’ve been surfing around for other blogs to read & I’ve found quite a few out there that are interesting & fun to read (some even help to put your brain to use!). I’ve put links on my page should anyone else want to venture their way as well. I highly suggest visiting them, I’m confident you’ll be glad you did. In my “surfing”, I’ve really been pleasantly surprised at the writing ability that’s out there among bloggers. It was quite refreshing if I do say so myself!

Ramblings (a.k.a. bitching & moaning):

I’m finding as of late that I’m incredibly annoyed by people that talk out loud, or to me, interrupting me,when I’m trying to complete something that takes my concentration (such as blogging). I can’t help but reflect back to when I was a teenager who lived (yes “lived” not just “loved”) to read … but got nasty as could be when interrupted. My poor sister, I would yell at her for interrupting me & she’d tromp off in a huff, slamming my bedroom door & then her own. Part of me still thinks she was overreacting, but looking at it from her point of view, I can see how I wasn’t taking her feelings into consideration yet completely expected her to consider my feelings. Ironic or human nature? To this day I’m annoyed by people that interrupt me or make strange noises (usually of the subconscious nature). I find it comparable to nails on a chalk board. Maybe I’m just an irritable little bitch … or maybe I should just rip off whatever part of that other person’s body is that’s making the sounds … Ok, maybe I am just an irritable little bitch

SideNote:

Did have an SP episode the other night, but other than the dark figure & the paralysis it was uneventful. The figure just stood there as if his presence was necessary to maintain my paralysis, but eventually it ended. Oddly, it was in the middle of the night & I just fell right back into sleep afterwards. It’s strange however that I still remembered it.

Comment (Hello?):

Remember, you’re all more than welcome to leave me a comment anytime you’d like. I’ll even comment back. I know you’re reading because I see the stats, but … no comment love for me yet? Hehe, make a girl smile – leave a comment … even if you just want to tell me to shut up & stop asking you to leave them … it’s ok, I can take it! Take care & sleep well.

 

A lovely day in paradise

Well, here we are, a new day among us & it’s quite lovely outside!  A nice breeze wafting it’s way through the palm trees, the sun shining down on us & a blue sky with clouds slowly drifting around in a lazy mood.

I haven’t been blogging as much as I would like to as of late & apologies to those who stop by.  My intention was to dedicate this blog to research on SP & recently I’ve not had any (full-fledged) instances so I’ve stepped back a bit.

I would like to point out that I watched Paranormal Activity over the weekend & although, I originally thought it had some commonalities with SP, after watching it, I would say that I was pretty-much off in my assumption.  Instead, it turned out to be more of a Blair-Witch/Exorcist type of story.  Although, I’m sure some will beg to differ as with SP there is always that feeling (or more appropriately that sense) that it is in fact a demon or evil presence rather than a waking-dream.

Anywho … other than my battle with my BlackBerry & the new Facebook application all has been pretty well in the World of Jayequeue.